My Body Draft ii

CN: adoption, allusion to sexual abuse and self-harm, nudity,

My body has been commodified from the moment I was born. For one reason or another, I was abandoned/relinquished/rejected/given a better life, given a different life. My birth date on the certificate says that it’s October 29. My adoption papers say I was found December 15 and officially admitted January 15. I don’t know where my body is.

My body materializes when I’m estimated to be 10 months old. My mother hands over a briefcase of cash, and I am hers. There are bruises all over my body and patches of hair over my head. I don’t hesitate to go for the bottle.

 

You’re a slob

You’re lazy

You’re a pig

You’re fat

 

My body is available to everyone and anyone who wants to look at it. I wear a blue shirt, I’m the shape of a blueberry. My boobs are big for an Asian. He said he’s never been with a Chubby Asian girl.

 

You’re too dark to be Chinese

Have you ever thought about getting surgery for your eyes?

How do you Blind Fold an Asian? With floss.

Why is your face so flat?

Do you see in widescreen or normal?

 

My body wants control. It has scars that are over 10 years old. Hair turns different colors, get a nose piercing, let it close. Get a tattoo, it’s more permanent. It wakes up in the middle of the night and is no longer clothed. Someone is sleeping on the couch outside of my room.

 

At least hair isn’t permanent

I don’t want to see the nose piercing

I paid good money for you

You better not get a tattoo

 

My body is the least of my priorities. I don’t listen to it. Other people matter more. Development of type ii diabetes at age 22. I’m embarrassed by my nipples. They’re not soft and pink. Maybe that’s why I don’t like people looking at my body. Maybe that’s why I don’t like to look at my body.

 

Officially Welcome to the Gladieux Family

Asian’s are genetically predisposed to developing type ii diabetes

 

My body doesn’t work the way that it is supposed to. I’m listening.

 

 

IMG_0766.jpeg

Images of my Body

 

3 thoughts on “My Body Draft ii

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